Let Your Self-Truths Set You Free!

So often, circumstances place us in positions that encourage us to think differently about ourselves.  If we think differently about ourselves and we are filled with positivity in regards to growth and change — then this is a good thing.  However, there are far too many times where we find ourselves allowing our negative core beliefs to dictate our attitudes, moods, and response to life.

Core Beliefs

Core beliefs are basically absolute statements about oneself that are treated as absolute facts.  As any good therapist would tell you, it is essential that you challenge the negative core beliefs because they can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc.  Some examples of negative core beliefs are:

  1. I am unlovable
  2. I am worthless
  3. Nothing ever works for me

Combating Negative Core Beliefs

Obviously, finding proof that these negative beliefs one holds about oneself are not 100% true is one way of combating negative core beliefs.  Identifying self-truths are another good way.  Self-truths are exactly what they sound like!  Truths about yourself.  So you can take a negative core belief such as “nothing ever works for me” and review your personal experiences to identify if you truly have had the experience of having absolutely nothing ever work for you.  Self-truths reveal positive things about our experiences that we would otherwise discount.

Sometimes we transfer other people’s personal opinions about our traits and make them into core beliefs.  How many times have you been told that you were damaged, useless, worthless, and other negative things?  There are times when you are told that you are something so many times that you take on that identity and make it into a negative core belief.

Build Your Own Self-Worth Through Self Truths

When you have a negative balance in your self-worth bank, it deteriorates your entire emotional well-being.  Negative balances are easy to accumulate while positive balances are hard to obtain and even harder to keep.  When you develop and enhance actual self-truths, you are actually building positive balances in your self-worth bank.

  • Reduce the negative effects of negative core beliefs by eliminating absolutes from your vocabulary (always, never, etc.)
  • Take every opportunity to remind yourself of your positive contributions in your own life (education, employment, personal accomplishments)
  • Review evidence that appears to support your negative image of yourself overly critically (always demand three times the proof of a negative image versus one piece of evidence for proof of a positive image)
  • If you can’t find positive self-truths about yourself — create them or have friends and family help you!

It is important that you take daily inventory of the balances that reside in your self-worth bank.  Do not allow negativity to take up residence in your life when it contributes nothing to enhance the quality of your life.  The path to enlightenment can be a long and arduous one but it does not have to be utterly impossible!

Let Your Flower Bloom!

rose

The flower that blooms in adversity
is the most beautiful one of all
— Disney’s Mulan movie

I have rediscovered myself.  I know my worth.  And I’ll be damned if I ever forget my worth again.  My worth signifies that I am worth the effort, worth the pain, and definitely worth the sacrifice that anyone has to go through to be with me.  My biggest mistake was stuffing my worth in the back of the closet just to keep the peace.  I did myself no favors and I surely did not do him any favors.

Every breath I take now fills the entirety of my body with such an empowered feeling that it makes me involuntarily shudder!  So deliciously so that I’d have to go back to previous pages in this book to even remember the devastation period that I went through not so long ago. But I won’t go back because I’m more invested into future than my past.

Maybe I’m just happy about some progress.  Finally, after a whole month of delaying — my soon-to-be ex managed to show up to meet and sign the papers.  He disagreed with some of the financial support terms stating that “if I’m going to walk away, I’m just going to walk away.”  Somehow, he isn’t grasping the fact that marriage is a contract and you don’t just get to take your ball and go home without paying for that privilege.  He refused to sign the actual divorce agreement but I was able to talk him into signing the separation agreement.  His reason?  He wasn’t “ready for it to be over.”  I’m shaking my head even as I write this.  I asked him several pointed questions like, what have you been doing to show that you don’t want it to be over.  Answers were so mumbled and lacking of any reality that I do not remember what he actually said.  He did agree that how he left was nothing short of f***** up and agreed to contribute to bills next week.  I don’t believe any of it, but with any luck, maybe just maybe he will straighten up and fly right.