Let Your Self-Truths Set You Free!

So often, circumstances place us in positions that encourage us to think differently about ourselves.  If we think differently about ourselves and we are filled with positivity in regards to growth and change — then this is a good thing.  However, there are far too many times where we find ourselves allowing our negative core beliefs to dictate our attitudes, moods, and response to life.

Core Beliefs

Core beliefs are basically absolute statements about oneself that are treated as absolute facts.  As any good therapist would tell you, it is essential that you challenge the negative core beliefs because they can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc.  Some examples of negative core beliefs are:

  1. I am unlovable
  2. I am worthless
  3. Nothing ever works for me

Combating Negative Core Beliefs

Obviously, finding proof that these negative beliefs one holds about oneself are not 100% true is one way of combating negative core beliefs.  Identifying self-truths are another good way.  Self-truths are exactly what they sound like!  Truths about yourself.  So you can take a negative core belief such as “nothing ever works for me” and review your personal experiences to identify if you truly have had the experience of having absolutely nothing ever work for you.  Self-truths reveal positive things about our experiences that we would otherwise discount.

Sometimes we transfer other people’s personal opinions about our traits and make them into core beliefs.  How many times have you been told that you were damaged, useless, worthless, and other negative things?  There are times when you are told that you are something so many times that you take on that identity and make it into a negative core belief.

Build Your Own Self-Worth Through Self Truths

When you have a negative balance in your self-worth bank, it deteriorates your entire emotional well-being.  Negative balances are easy to accumulate while positive balances are hard to obtain and even harder to keep.  When you develop and enhance actual self-truths, you are actually building positive balances in your self-worth bank.

  • Reduce the negative effects of negative core beliefs by eliminating absolutes from your vocabulary (always, never, etc.)
  • Take every opportunity to remind yourself of your positive contributions in your own life (education, employment, personal accomplishments)
  • Review evidence that appears to support your negative image of yourself overly critically (always demand three times the proof of a negative image versus one piece of evidence for proof of a positive image)
  • If you can’t find positive self-truths about yourself — create them or have friends and family help you!

It is important that you take daily inventory of the balances that reside in your self-worth bank.  Do not allow negativity to take up residence in your life when it contributes nothing to enhance the quality of your life.  The path to enlightenment can be a long and arduous one but it does not have to be utterly impossible!

Have You Ever Thought About Committing Suicide?

suicide

Oddly enough, last night I put a reminder in to write about suicide today.  Then today, I saw this article about Karyn Washington’s suicide.  Although this article is mainly about the amount of pressure that Black women put themselves under — I think this is easy for any race to relate to.  The world that we currently live in has morphed into a place where the societal expectation is to “keep it moving.”  While it is great to stay positive under trying circumstances, it is my belief that we do ourselves a disservice by ignoring the pain.  Whether you are actively suicidal or are not suicidal at all, I have a few self care tips that I have been working on myself:

  • Your pain is real:  Say that to yourself until you believe it.  Don’t let others take your pain away just because “life has to go on.”  When we deny ourselves the luxury of being in pain, we “stuff” it and it grows like a cancer within our very beings.
  • Support is great:  Surround yourself with those who give you permission to dip your toes into the pool of depression without allowing you to step in and subsequently drown.
  • Give exit passes:  Some people are just not going to be supportive or helpful.  Others may put on the face of support while they are secretly happy that you are enduring these rough times.  Give those people exit passes out of your life.
  • Do something fun:  Get out of the house and go see a movie.  Go to the store and window shop.  Or stay in the house and catch up on some television episodes.  Play a video game.  The bottom line here is to do something that you enjoy.  It may not necessarily change your circumstances but it will allow you space to introduce some new stimuli into your life.
  • Sometimes your trials are not for you:  It is so easy to wonder why bad things always seem to happen to us.  It is hard for us to understand that sometimes we go through things just so that OTHERS will see how we deal with the pressure or learn something from it.  Take some of the pressure off of your shoulders and reflect that inner positivity that you have within.

If there were one thing I would like to say to anyone considering taking their own life, it is what I have said to myself when times have gotten beyond the point of unbearable – don’t.  Just don’t.  There are lives that you can touch, purposes that you have yet to fulfill, and positive life experiences that are just waiting for you if you can be patient.  Easier said than done, I know.  But it is something that millions of people are dealing with everyday and we need to do our part to reach out and hold someone’s hand so that they know they are not alone in their sadness.

We do ourselves a severe disservice when we “put on our brave face” and portray to the world that we are okay when we really aren’t.  We do our friends and family a disservice when we decide not to “deal” with their depression because it is too much work and we have our own lives to lead.  Have you ever thought about committing suicide?  Do you know someone who has thought about it?

Loosed from Depression

  thou art loosed

I cried everyday for a week after he left.  I spent the time after that putting my brave face on mainly because my eyes were getting red and puffy — hard to explain that to clients.  I actually had to place cold washcloths over my eyes to normalize their appearance.  I thought to myself — this can’t be good.

[Okay, this is the cool part.  Well, I find it cool.  If you hover your mouse over the Scriptural references, you will get a small pop up (friendly, I promise!) that gives you the text from the Scripture!  Simply click anywhere on the white space of the box to get rid of it and move to the next.  If you don’t find that cool, I really don’t have any other tricks for you today.  Try tomorrow : ) ]  If you have been following my blog in sequential order or one after another in this fasting series, you’re probably wondering why I keep this part in.  It’s merely for those who start in random spots and may not know.  Quite nice of me, right?

I’m clinging to the promises found in the Scriptures.  That the Lord will hear me and deliver me from my problems.  That my weary soul will be satiated and my sorrowful soul will be replenished.  That God will exalt His children in due time.  I need these truths to expand the meaning in my life.  In my suffering.

My fast, thus far, has been a wonderful cleansing for me, it has reignited that spiritual flame that had so briefly gone out.