Let Your Flower Bloom!


The flower that blooms in adversity
is the most beautiful one of all
— Disney’s Mulan movie

I have rediscovered myself.  I know my worth.  And I’ll be damned if I ever forget my worth again.  My worth signifies that I am worth the effort, worth the pain, and definitely worth the sacrifice that anyone has to go through to be with me.  My biggest mistake was stuffing my worth in the back of the closet just to keep the peace.  I did myself no favors and I surely did not do him any favors.

Every breath I take now fills the entirety of my body with such an empowered feeling that it makes me involuntarily shudder!  So deliciously so that I’d have to go back to previous pages in this book to even remember the devastation period that I went through not so long ago. But I won’t go back because I’m more invested into future than my past.

Maybe I’m just happy about some progress.  Finally, after a whole month of delaying — my soon-to-be ex managed to show up to meet and sign the papers.  He disagreed with some of the financial support terms stating that “if I’m going to walk away, I’m just going to walk away.”  Somehow, he isn’t grasping the fact that marriage is a contract and you don’t just get to take your ball and go home without paying for that privilege.  He refused to sign the actual divorce agreement but I was able to talk him into signing the separation agreement.  His reason?  He wasn’t “ready for it to be over.”  I’m shaking my head even as I write this.  I asked him several pointed questions like, what have you been doing to show that you don’t want it to be over.  Answers were so mumbled and lacking of any reality that I do not remember what he actually said.  He did agree that how he left was nothing short of f***** up and agreed to contribute to bills next week.  I don’t believe any of it, but with any luck, maybe just maybe he will straighten up and fly right.

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